from the 'how about that?' department

So you think you know what they do to women in Arab countries? What about American educated women with a PhD? And a member of Amnesty International? Well if you're Kuwait, you elect her to Parliament. Funkadelic.

A Conversation

Instead of whining about how we were deceived about the reasons to invade Iraq, we should accept the fact that we're there and fight to win. This is a position that you may have heard before. I imagine a conversation similar to this:

Vice President Dick: Mr. President, do you recall what Clemenceau once said about war?

President George: No, I don't think I do, sir, no.

VP Dick: He said war was too important to be left to the generals. When he said that, 50 years ago, he might have been right. But today, war is too important to be left to politicians. They have neither the time, the training, nor the inclination for strategic thought. I can no longer sit back and allow Terrorist infiltration, Terrorist indoctrination, Terrorist subversion and the international Terrorist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

two groups

There are two kinds of people in this world. Those that like to divide the world into two kinds of people, and those who do not. I am definitely the second kind. Spliting people into two groups - Democrats and Republicans, rich and poor, elitists and regular folk, etc. - is pointless because it assumes everyone in each group is the same, and we're not. The only thing we all have in common is that each and every one of us is different.

A letter to Apple Corp.

Dear Apple Corp.,


We want to place an order for your MP3 player with the Beatles catalog preloaded.

We see the striking bright green players – the color of the apple in your logo - everywhere. We think it is called an “apple” and contains the complete Beatles catalog, movies and solo works as well.

We’ll toss our pasty white ipod as soon as yours arrives. Our kids want to buy millions of them for us. The fact that your Asian manufacturers donate some profits to good causes is nice too. The world makes sense again.

We especially liked your hip marketing campaign. Four pictures in a square – like the album. We get it. First a picture of the player captioned “the new apple” then the green apple logo captioned “from the old apple.” Then “Beatles Preloaded MP3 Player.” And in the fourth square a pithy lyric. “All you need is love.” “Take a sad song and make it better.” “Yes it is, Yes it is, Yes it is.” We see them everywhere, mostly on the news.

Of the two music distribution companies named Apple, we like the other one allright, but we always liked you better. We hope you can ship soon.


Yours truly,


The World

more rhetorical katrina questions

how much of my tax dollars do i have to give the all-red gulf region before their politicians stop calling their constitients 'self-reliant?'

if we give you 200 billion dollars, will you please stop sounding so accusative and start sounding more compassionate when you say phrases like 'government programs,' and 'federal spending?'

if it turns out that stronger hurricaines are the result of warmer water, would you vote for the environment over your pocketbook once in awhile?

ban gay marriage now

The answer isn't to legalize gay marriage, the anwer is to stop performing legal gay and straight marriages completely, in favor of civil unions for all. The church doesn't recognize state-issued divorce; you need an 'annulment.' Annulment is to marriage as divorce is to civil union. Also, doesn't having the state recognize a contract defined by a religion violate the establishment clause? Why recognize state issued 'marriages?' My heterosexual marriage took place in a hotel by a justice of the peace; I have a civil union. If your chuch won't marry you because you've got the wrong race, religion, or reproductive organs that's between you, your church, and your god. Pray to him, have a sacrifice, nail a letter to the door of the church, but don't involve my government. I don't want the state 'defending the sanctity' of anything. Sanctifying, defending sanctity, and sanctimoniousness in general is for clergy and mullahs.

This is how the founding fathers would want it. google 'founding fathers and religion.' for yourself.

they do it over there, but they don't do it here

check out this article on Pat Robertson's fatwah, where the author writes:

...Perhaps, that explains Donald Rumsfeld’s bland response that Robertson “is a private citizen. Private citizens say all kinds of things all the time.”

Of course, Rumsfeld failed to add that if Robertson was Muslim he’d be dragged off in leg-irons and plunked at Guantanamo Bay. Instead, he’ll get a mild public rebuke and retain his prestigious place among America’s class warriors.