The Magic Blog

from the 'how about that?' department

2009-05-17T08:13:00.002-05:00

So you think you know what they do to women in Arab countries? What about American educated women with a PhD? And a member of Amnesty International? Well if you're Kuwait, you elect her to Parliament. Funkadelic.

A Conversation

2008-11-15T09:39:00.004-05:00

Instead of whining about how we were deceived about the reasons to invade Iraq, we should accept the fact that we're there and fight to win. This is a position that you may have heard before. I imagine a conversation similar to this:

Vice President Dick: Mr. President, do you recall what Clemenceau once said about war?

President George: No, I don't think I do, sir, no.

VP Dick: He said war was too important to be left to the generals. When he said that, 50 years ago, he might have been right. But today, war is too important to be left to politicians. They have neither the time, the training, nor the inclination for strategic thought. I can no longer sit back and allow Terrorist infiltration, Terrorist indoctrination, Terrorist subversion and the international Terrorist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

two groups

2008-11-07T18:07:00.002-05:00

There are two kinds of people in this world. Those that like to divide the world into two kinds of people, and those who do not. I am definitely the second kind. Spliting people into two groups - Democrats and Republicans, rich and poor, elitists and regular folk, etc. - is pointless because it assumes everyone in each group is the same, and we're not. The only thing we all have in common is that each and every one of us is different.

A letter to Apple Corp.

2007-01-09T16:02:00.000-05:00

Dear Apple Corp.,

We want to place an order for your MP3 player with the Beatles catalog preloaded.

We see the striking bright green players – the color of the apple in your logo - everywhere. We think it is called an “apple” and contains the complete Beatles catalog, movies and solo works as well.

We’ll toss our pasty white ipod as soon as yours arrives. Our kids want to buy millions of them for us. The fact that your Asian manufacturers donate some profits to good causes is nice too. The world makes sense again.

We especially liked your hip marketing campaign. Four pictures in a square – like the album. We get it. First a picture of the player captioned “the new apple” then the green apple logo captioned “from the old apple.” Then “Beatles Preloaded MP3 Player.” And in the fourth square a pithy lyric. “All you need is love.” “Take a sad song and make it better.” “Yes it is, Yes it is, Yes it is.” We see them everywhere, mostly on the news.

Of the two music distribution companies named Apple, we like the other one allright, but we always liked you better. We hope you can ship soon.

Yours truly,

The World

ban gay marriage now

2005-09-14T15:58:00.000-05:00

The answer isn't to legalize gay marriage, the anwer is to stop performing legal gay and straight marriages completely, in favor of civil unions for all. The church doesn't recognize state-issued divorce; you need an 'annulment.' Annulment is to marriage as divorce is to civil union. Also, doesn't having the state recognize a contract defined by a religion violate the establishment clause? Why recognize state issued 'marriages?' My heterosexual marriage took place in a hotel by a justice of the peace; I have a civil union. If your chuch won't marry you because you've got the wrong race, religion, or reproductive organs that's between you, your church, and your god. Pray to him, have a sacrifice, nail a letter to the door of the church, but don't involve my government. I don't want the state 'defending the sanctity' of anything. Sanctifying, defending sanctity, and sanctimoniousness in general is for clergy and mullahs.

This is how the founding fathers would want it. google 'founding fathers and religion.' for yourself.

they do it over there, but they don't do it here

2005-09-14T15:47:00.000-05:00

check out this article on Pat Robertson's fatwah, where the author writes:

...Perhaps, that explains Donald Rumsfeld’s bland response that Robertson “is a private citizen. Private citizens say all kinds of things all the time.”
Of course, Rumsfeld failed to add that if Robertson was Muslim he’d be dragged off in leg-irons and plunked at Guantanamo Bay. Instead, he’ll get a mild public rebuke and retain his prestigious place among America’s class warriors.

novak sent to gitmo

2005-07-01T11:37:00.000-05:00

imagine if he worked for an islamic newspaper and is first name was mohammed instead of robert. outing a cia agent during wartime as retribution for her husband's statements. none of us would complain if mohammed novak ended up in guantanamo or in front a firing squad. but robert doesn't even get in front of a grand jury.

I hate brian setzer too.

2005-04-13T12:52:00.000-05:00

great news. wisconsin votes to shoot stray cats.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7847218/

next is a fatwah on big bad voodoo daddies.

Update 3/14/07: Wisconsin was right...

http://www.boston.com/news/odd/articles/2007/03/14/stray_cats_enter_home_attack_women_boy/?rss_id=Boston.com+%2F+News

coronation irony

2005-01-20T17:08:00.000-05:00

watching the inauguration, it ocurred to me we are becoming a theocracy. hey - just like iraq. it's almost as ironic as the texas air national guard serving in iraq.

my paint is sherwin williams

2004-12-31T08:17:00.000-05:00

have you seen the american express commercial with robert deniro? we see new york scenes while his voice is heard saying 'my heart... my west side... my earlobe... " etc. at the end he says something like "my city is new york. my card is american express." can't that last sentence be anything? my truck is chevrolet. my sneakers are keds.

hello

2004-12-30T14:11:00.000-05:00

long time listener, first time caller. Lots of people talking, few of them know...

How stingy are we?

2004-12-30T13:50:00.000-05:00

I know we're dead last in terms of %GDP giving, and talk of total dollars is biased, intentionally or not, towards the less-stingy picture. If you earn $100k/Yr and give $140 - that's the same 0.14% of your GDP the US gov't gives - you are stingy by my measure and certainly compared to the $20k/Yr family giving $50. But perhaps some of this is a cultural difference. We Americans like to give directly, rather than having our government dedide for us. A better measure of comparative generosity would include not only government direct aid but also state and local contributions to NGO's, contributions by individuals to churches, NGO's, etc, plus the costs of the charitable donation tax deductions from the government, Peace Corp funding, plus the cost of any military re-deployments, plus anything else I missed. Divide that by GDP and I'd be suprised if we weren't somewhere in the middle of the list. If someone would do this math, we could refocus our attention on the victims rather than our own opinions of our relative generosity.

I'd also be suprised if we were at the top of such a list, which would be nice given our ostensible moral superiority.